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I have been in love with Mommy Fiercest for years now. Ever since I first met her, I’ve been like a kid in a big haired macho femme pro domme queer candy store. She’s my best friend, deviant adviser and art muse now (see some drawings of her I’ve done below – click them to enlarge them).
I recently interviewed Mommy about her thoughts on something that fascinates me… AGE PLAY.
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Mommy Fiercest, how do you incorporate age play into your own life?
I seem to call out the child in people and for that reason attract people who enjoy playing the role of the child. People feel comfortable accessing this very vulnerable part of themselves and sometimes slide into a childlike headspace in my company. . I’ve even noticed this among people who were previously unaware that they had any interest in age play. I have many friends who are “little” or who identify as “age players” and I’m often doing age play and behaving in the role of Mommy or the grownup when interacting with friends in a non kink setting. So many people have been made to feel ashamed of their desire or their need to play the role of another age. Part of me is hesitate to call it “role play” because for so many people they’re just expressing their authentic selves and don’t really consider what they’re doing to be playing a role but rather accessing a part of ourselves that they must often keep hidden in order to feel safe.
Are you a Mommy?
I’m not a Mommy in the sense that I have never birthed children or adopted one. I am a D/s Mommy though. I have a beautiful little girl who is twenty-two years old queer femme who lives in San Francisco. Her name is Colette and from the beginning I wanted it to be clear to her that I didn’t think of her as my peer. She is very young and so there is a natural power disparity between us because she’s twenty-two and I’m thirty. I like to say that it’s not very hard to impress a twenty-two year old. All you need is a car, apartment and a job. Two out of three works too. She approached me about being her Mistress about eight months ago and it’s been a long courtship which inittailly began as a mentorship role and then gradually developed into a Mommy/girl dynamic. She just slides into the role of a child when we’re together and it’s beautiful. I really adore her.
What attracts you to it?
There are a couple of themes that always pop up in my D/s play. These themes are “corruption of innocence”, “abuse of power” and “instruction”. These themes are woven very deeply into almost all of my age play scenes.
How much of is sexual for you?
Pretty much all of it is sexual. I’ve done age play with people I was not going to have sex with but it turns me on so much I’m really only interested in doing it if there is sex involved!
What are some of the misconceptions about age play?
That we’re all damaged or pedophiles. People don’t say that people who enjoy rape play are really rapists or people that enjoy caning really want to torture people non-consensually in real life. What I really don’t understand is why the Daddy/daughter role is so widely accepted even in straight D/s culture but Mommy is so taboo. Well, I do understand, I think Mommy play is more intimate. The relationship we have with our mothers is (hopefully) our first deeply intimate relationship. Fathers are often absent and so I can see why the role of mother squicks people out so much.
Have you ever received negativity from people when they discovered you were into age play?
Most people are curious and titillated and want to know more. No one that I care to spend time with has reacted strongly against it. I think I choose my friends very carefully. “Dont yuck my yum.” I like to say.
How does someone realize they are into age play?
I had fantasies that were scary and confusing. Am I a monster? I didn’t really want to hurt anyone and I knew I wanted to act on my desires with other adults who were interested in the same role play as me but it was very scary. I was in therapy for three years from age twenty to twenty three to discuss my age play fantasies and never did because I was so terrified my therapist would think I was a pedophile. I finally read Patrick Califia’s “Macho Sluts” and learned about D/s Mommy/boy relationships. I was so relieved I cried. “Yes! That is what I want! and other people do it too! I’m not fucked up!!!”
Is age play a big part of the bdsm world?
I don’t think so at all.
Is it a 24/7 thing for you or an in scene thing?
Colette and I slip in and out of role all the time. Sometimes she is a brave, strong, intelligent young woman and then she’s the same woman looking up at me with her big water eyes and begging for candy or barrettes at the store. Imagine this scene: Collette with her beautiful light brown hair in pigtails, smiling, septum ring twinkling as she sits drinking out of a sippie cup at my kitchen table in a pastel violet pull up style adult diaper and no shirt. In the span of twenty minutes we could go from discussing the boys she’s dating (real live adult men that she dates in San Francisco), to industry related chat (she is a pro domme as well) to having her pinned up against the wall and being belt whipped for dropping her cookies on the floor. We slip in and out of role all the time when we’re not having a dedicated “scene” that we’ve negotiated and planned. The fluidity of our relationship is one of the things that is so beautiful about this.
You hosted a Mommy/Boy & Girl panel at DomCon last year. How was that received?
It was received very well! I had Alex Iron co-facilitating the panel with me. He’s from San Francisco and does a lot of education around Mommy/boy dynamics. Our panelists included Mistress Melissa, Shae Flanegin, Goddess Soma and another lifestyle age player Darcie. There were over forty people at the panel which is a lot for DomCon! I met dominant men who confessed they had a lifelong desire for a stern and loving Mommy to discipline them, from Dominant women with a desire to submit to a cruel Mommy and tons of submissives who were just aching for a Mommy or the chance to be a Mommy to someone. I think that quite a few love matches were made in that room. The panel really could have been an hour and a half or two hours (it was one hour) since everyone had such interesting questions and so much to say. I couldn’t have asked for a more beautiful group of women, some of whom play both Mommy and girl.
Can you recommend any good books or age play resources?
The Toy Bag Guide To Age Play by Lee Harington. Also there area lot of good groups on fetlife.com
Is there anything else you want to say on the matter, Mommy?
One thing I erotocize about age play is the desparate neediness of a person playing the role of child. I eroticize that neediness and so do my submissives. This can be slippery territory for someone like me who is an introvert and needs to spend the majority of my time alone. Too many calls, texts, emails can drive me crazy and very very quickly the neediness I eroticize in play and in fantasy can become stifling and verge on the edge of codependence. Sometimes people in the role of children feel the need to test their limits and test you or rebel. It’s very much like a parent child relationship in that regard but it’s not so you have to be aware of these things. I never want my submissives to feel disempowered and it’s important to me that they maintain their sense of autonomy and capability even when I am there to take care of them.
Check out Mommy Fiercest’s awesome blog RIGHT HERE and follow her on Twitter HERE.
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